They search for “utopia sex normal” and end up here.

So I was looking through my site statistics for this blog. Certainly at the rate I post I don’t deserve to get any traffic whatsoever. Nonetheless I get a fair bit considering I haven’t posted since October. But some of the search phrases are heartbreaking. It makes me wonder if anything I’ve written here helps in any way, or if it changes anything. I guess that’s one of the things I just can’t know, but it’s interesting. The internet so changes our potential reach as human beings. The world is no longer bounded by location and distance.

Of course, there are many which have very direct and obvious connections to specific posts. Others seem a little less related, but somehow someone got here anyway. These also range from the tenderly young and honest, to the profound, to the pedestrian and ordinary, to the benignly bizarre, and thence of course (because it is the internet after all) to the kinda twisted and distressing.

Here they are, listed by my best guess at connected posts:

Yesterday I felt entirely right in my body, and
If you’re reading my blog I’m assuming that I’m the fat person you like

  • i didnt feel good yesterday
  • what to say when people say you ve lost weight
  • why fatness (Because.)
  • fatness – what could be done (Both so little and so much. We could all work to be a little less fat-phobic as a society. Then we could, as a society, try to heal our injurred relationship with body, sexuality, food and love. That would be a start.)
  • pleasurable person.
  • how to gain pleasure plumpness and be happy (I want to write this book now.)
  • softness plumpness and curves
  • shape description fatness
  • inviting curves
  • loving fatness
  • love plump belly (Plump belly is by far the most common search term for the site, which rather amuses me.)
  • belly fatness
  • fatness belly
  • i love plump round bellies
  • my plump belly
  • love plump belly
  • round tummy
  • yesterday belly mirror
  • you have become so fat tummy plump
  • ways to plump up your girlfriend in the belly (Is this a euphemism for pregnancy? Or just what it sounds?)
  • love a plump belly
  • cuddling boyfriend s tummy belly
  • boyfriend i love his belly tummy
  • plump belly breasts love
  • i went to touch her belly and it was fat
  • cuddle up behind smooth bottom
  • my girlfriend doesn t like me to touch her breasts (Then it would be a good idea to not touch her breasts.)
  • where my girlfriend would like to be touched on her body (I’m going to parrot Dan Savage at this point and say “Ask her. Then respect what she says.”)
  • why do my breasts became soft after my boyfriend touched it
  • i love my breasts
  • soft plump girlfriend
  • love-my-breasts health
  • i love my breasts
  • her breast in my hand
  • why arent my breasts fully round (Because breasts, in general, aren’t.)
  • touching girlfriend breasts
  • my breasts change shape when my nipples are erect
  • is less erect breast nipples a sign of menopause (I don’t honestly know the answer to this one.)
  • he likes me more than i like him (I feel for you, that’s a hard place to be.)
  • diets for plumpness
  • how to be a confident androgynous person
  • fatness attractiveness
  • i feel uncomfortable in clothes because of my fatness
  • she eats like a pig (I wonder what this person was really looking for?)
  • how do you know if you re fat? (Oh, if you’re very lucky, people will tell you when haven’t even asked them. Alternatively, you’ll know because they’re assuring you earnestly that you aren’t. It’s okay, though, fat’s just a word and someone’s gotta claim it.)
  • i m the fat person in the family
  • im 20 years old and im 160 pounds how much is my fat (Not enough data. Do you identify as fat?)
  • fatness reasons

Access to Plan B

  • my breasts started drooping after morning after pill
  • contraception – is it really three days?
  • plan b and menstrual cycle
  • my condom slipped off and my girlfriend took plan b within 24 hours
  • gravol abortion
  • abortion and gravol
  • prescription
  • plan b-taking both pills at the same time
  • plan b changed my cycle
  • during sexual intercourse with my boyfriend how was high..the condom came off am i pregnant? (Only time will. However, if you don’t want to be and the sex was recent (within the last three days), I would encourage you to seek out Plan B. I’m not saying that’s likely to be easy, of course.)
  • canada pictures of walkin clinic
  • morning after pill condom slipped
  • gastric bypass and plan b contraceptive
  • taking plan b at the time you ovulate
  • negatives of plan b over the counter

It happened then, why is it still happening now?

This is the post that seems to come up for the most heartbreaking searches, to whit:

  • how do i make this boy at school stop tpuching me i dont want to tell the teacher
  • how do you stop a boy from touching you inappropriately
  • does sexual harassment still happen nowadays? (I have to tell you it does.)
  • why is sexual harassment still happening (Because of this crazy thing called the Patriarchy which many of us Blame.)
  • work sexual harrass
  • teacher sexually harrassing boy
  • bullying in college
  • made a sexual comment of my body also
  • 5 years old boy sexual harrassed my daughter at school
  • 7 year olds touching private parts (Somehow I have the oogie feeling that this googler doesn’t have the best intentions.)
  • avoiding sexual harrassment at school
  • sexual harrassement breast touching
  • touching inappropriately sexual harrassment
  • sexual harrassment second grade
  • teenage sexual harrassment
  • sexual harrassment in high school
  • my daughter is being teased by boys
  • harrassment at work canada
  • emotionally immature 12 yo boy
  • sexual touching in order to humiliate
  • it happened then it happens now

Choice and Gender

  • how long does post-ejaculation stay in penis (Interesting you should ask, the best medical guess I’ve been able to find is that three days seems to be general time span – so using the withdrawal method if the male partner hasn’t ejaculated within three days is actually much safer pregnancy-wise than otherwise, when there is a far greater chance that there will be live and viable sperm in pre-ejaculate. However, I can’t even find a source for this piece of info (I think I learned that at the SMCR conference), so I wouldn’t base your birth control choices on what some random person says on a blog)
  • post-ejaculation sex
  • is it possible to get pregnant with post-ejaculation
  • show picture of largesr male ejaculation on record (Yeah, I bet they were disappointed to end up here)
  • fertility awareness withdrawal
  • ejaculation inside a woman
  • how many times can a man ejaculate in a three hour time period? (Depends on the man.)
  • post-sex precautions
  • if no conception for years under withdrawal method should I worry (So much of conception depends on when you’re having sex, after all. If you’re wanting to have children now, then now is the time to start planning to have sex at the appropriate fertile times. If you’re not pregnant in six months, but everything on your fertility chart suggests that you are ovulatory, then get your boy’s swimmers tested first. But timing intercourse to coincide with fertility is the biggest thing.
  • contraception near period
  • menstruation ejaculate inside
  • barrier withdrawal conception
  • fertility awareness blog
  • fertility awareness method
  • fertility cycle
  • can women still get pregnant four days after their menstrual cycle.com

And then there’s the category of weirdness. How did these searches bring people here? I do not know.

  • thought something mattered… it didn t and thought it didn t matter and it did (I’ve been there.)
  • annoyed with people who don t leave comments on blog (If I got annoyed at those people, they’d have every reason to get annoyed at me as a Blogger Who Blogs Irregularly. Can’t have that.)
  • about people who know that what happen now (I don’t even understand the question, sorry.)
  • because happened
  • what is meant to happen is happening (Is that good?)
  • how do you know what you re reading (often because I’m reading it)
  • click
  • something happening now that is bad that people accept (I feel your pain, anonymous googler.)
  • who said still they gaze and still they wonder (I don’t know, but now I wonder too.)
  • what happened on june 7 2007
  • utopia sex normal (I almost want to go google this myself.)
  • my nipples are erect (Okey doke then.)
  • stop shaking when your hungry
  • feminist rage
  • i had intercourse with my mother (I don’t think the internet is going to be the biggest help to you on this one.)
  • bullied women are not attractive (Isn’t this just one of the ultimate antifeminist statements?)
  • airline
  • what happened to the characters from degrassi high (Now you’re making me wonder.)
  • furniture (Seriously, furniture?)
  • toyota
  • medical madness
  • feel the way i felt
  • meaning of threw me for a loop
  • blog (I cannot imagine how many pages of results you had to go through to get here.)

1 Comment »

  1. Gloria Lemay said,

    November 12, 2008 @ 2:10 am

    Found myself laughing out loud reading this. . . .not so much what the searchers wrote, but imagining your face as you read some of them and the dead pan look on your face as you typed your bracketed replies. This would make a good one woman show (in your spare time, of course :)

    You’ll have to show me how to find my search terms. THAT should be good for a laugh, too.

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